Saturday, November 21, 2009

From the wellsprings of pain floweth a fountain of art

OMG! I'm writing again! It's like someone just pulled the plug out of the mental wellspring this morning and I've sprung a fountain. Everything is just flowing today. Not since I was 14 years old riding back home to Toronto from Quebec City, have I been able to write as many songs as I have this morning. I realize that art can be painful at times, but I never realized just how much pain it took to draw up this much inspiration. I'm not saying that I enjoy the pain. I am saying that I enjoy the pain, but I got so inspired by the writing that flowed from it. It's like it just hit me.

If anything, I have been up since 5am, and I had so many bad thoughts running through my head. And, it was my own fault for entertaining these thoughts to begin with. I was practically feeling consumed by my thoughts to the point of being paralyzed by them. So, I decided to try to think of ways to get them out of my head. I figured, I'd start with a hot shower and then the first song hit me in there. That's when I started writing "The Warning Sign" and just described everything that was feeling because of these thoughts. All of the overload and overwhelm was put into words and now I have the music in mind for it. From there, I started writing "Takin' My Time", which talked about my ignorance of letting these thoughts enter my head in the first place, and then I wrote "Sinkin'", which talks about dancing with temptation and sin and how I need to stop and rely on God and Jesus to get me through. I've even got another song in the making because of this.

I'm excited, to say the least. I'm inspired and motivated. I found something to get me through this... and this produced art. There's a whole fountain of music that feels like its flowing out of me today and I will admit that I am loving it so much. God knows just how much I love music and He's given me just the very gift I needed today. It feels so amazing. I will admit that I want more music. I never want to stop writing music. If it means writing what I am feeling about the totally messed up world I live in my mind, then so be it! It's music to my ears!

God had always said that we can take joy in our suffering. Never has my suffering been more joyful!

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