Friday, January 1, 2010

So hard to say good-bye

I was dreading today as I knew that it was creeping up on me early this morning as Wayne, Jonny and myself were all playing Mario Party until about 4am. Not to mention playing with my granddaughter and grandson all day, as well as a good part of the week. For the week, those kids knew they belonged to their grandfather. Even more so, they knew that grandpa belonged to them. It seemed like my granddaughter knew it so well that having to say good-bye to them today seemed to tear us both apart. Both of us had trouble holding back our emotions. I don't know who was more of a sight. A crying 4-year old girl seems more normal than a weeping man in his late 40's.

I didn't want to go without making our moments special, however. Cassidy and I always loved to play together whenever possible. We would exchange a few keywords that only between us, mattered. It wouldn't matter if mommy, daddy or even grandma couldn't figure out our little mode of communication but that didn't matter because it was between Cassidy and myself.  We would look at each other and all it took were those one or two special words between us and we would just look at each other and laugh. I don't know who loved the moment more: her or me?

I made Cassidy a promise before I came out there that we would have ice cream together. No doubt, she didn't forget, and asked me if we could share that bowl of ice cream that I promised. I didn't want to let her down before I left. Of course the weather was not permitting too well, and I think that the winter shock really knocked me on my rear with a cold or something. However, God did provide as Dina did buy some Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. I filled a bowl and got out two spoons and Cassidy and I sat at the table. I started losing it while I was praying and giving thanks. We then ate ice cream together, and I helped Cassidy put the bigger chunks on her spoon. It wasn't the ice cream that I cared for. It was that one last special moment with my granddaughter that was all I wanted.

I lost it in the ice cream moment because I knew that right after that, it was time to say good-bye. And that's when the tears all flowed. At first, she was holding back the tears. I wasn't, as I was hugging and kissing her good-bye. She saw how sad I was and then, next thing you know, we're both crying.

All I can say is how much I know in my heart just how much she means to me, and I cannot wait for the day when I'll be able to look at her face-to-face and exchange those special words that are just between her and me and share that little laugh that only we could share. My grandchildren have given more so many memories to me in a week. Not that my kids didn't, but this was more special than anything else. These are the Christmas presents that I am going to treasure more than anything else. You won't find these at Wal-Mart, Long & McQuade, or even at The Apple Store.

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